The Call of The Heart
by Katie4ever
Summary: *Complete* Sequel to 'Nothing Better Than a Broken Heart'. With the events that have happened, will Morgana and Merlin admit their feelings? Gwen won't just stand there and watch, thats for sure! Very AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, though I wish I did.**

**A/N: So many of you liked my story "Nothing Better Than a Broken Heart". I was surprised by how many people reviewed. And to all that reviewed this is for you. And this is my own form of AU, so I'm going to bring back a special guest. I suppose you could say. alleywayqueen, your guess was right! :) Enjoy**

**Okay just to let you guys know, this is my sequel story to 'Nothing Better Than a Broken Heart'. I decided to make a multiple chapter fic and here's the first chapter. Its more explanatory and it's AU as you will read on. So enjoy.**

**And my apologies. I don't exactly know when I will get my opportunity to be in a computer, but I will finish this story. :)**

Everything was as it should have been. The knights practiced outside, Uther forced his authority on the members of the council. Gaius awoke to make new remedies and give to his patients when he went down to the village. It was the usual day in Camelot.

"Morgana, you must tell me whats wrong." Gwen begged her friend. She sat on her knees and held Morgana close as the other girl panted in the dirty ground.

"I'm fine." Morgana argued, standing up on wobbly legs.

"No you are not." Gwen's tone got stern and she glared at Morgana. "You've been running around the field with a sword in hand and the poor knights have to spar with you. Its not fair for either of you."

"I'm not trying to work on my fighting skills. Who's to say that someone won't come to Camelot and attack? Who's to say that we won't have to be ready and destroy them?" Morgana quickly striked the wood dummy and panted. Her anger was unleashed, but she was too tired to let it all out.

"Morgana, please. You must rest; you've been doing this all morning." Gwen sighed and picked Morgana up. Despite Morgana's best efforts, she relented and was pulled into the castle. "Now will you tell me what happened yesterday?"

Just as Gwen had asked this, Merlin rounded the corner with the beautiful girl that Morgana had seen him with the other day. She stopped in her tracks, her face became very red, and her heart began to beat fast from her nerves.

"Morgana, are you alright?" Gwen looked at Morgana worried. It wasn't every day that her charge acted like this. She decided to take a wild guess and looked to where Morgana had looked before, and only saw...Merlin?

"Hi, Gwen...Morgana." Merlin said, not really sounding his usual happy self. Gwen looked at him confused.

"Hi, Merlin." She turned to the girl. "Who are you? I've never seen you here before...not that you've been here and I ignored you. No, not like that...I-"

Freya laughed and waved Gwen's babbling. "I'm new here. I'm to help the king and he seems very pleased to have me here."

"He's not the only one." Morgana said under her breath, but they heard her. She smiled. "You're a very adorable girl. It's hard not to like you."

Freya blushed. "Thank you, milady."

"There's no need to thank me." Morgana met Merlin's eyes and smiled. "I only speak the truth. Now if you'll excuse us. Gwen and I need to go. I've to dress for tonight. Same dinner arrangement. I swear, if we had visitor's for a change, this banquets would actually have a reason to be attended." She joked and the others laughed; except for Merlin. Who looked very tense. Something Morgana both found herself to be concerned about, and thoroughly enjoying. "Come, Gwen. Help me set up a bath; I'm in the mood to be clean." She nodded her goodbye with a smile and left, with Gwen behind her.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Gwen turned to her lady. "Morgana, tell me."

"No, there's nothing to tell." Morgana argued.

"Fine." Gwen gathered some nerve and bravely said. "If you won't tell me then...Merlin will." She continued walking even after Morgana stopped and turned to her. Her friend was in trouble, Gwen had the right to help. If meddling was the only way, than let it be.

The day quickly passed and Gwen began to doubt her decision. She was a little afraid that meddling was not a good option, but one that was necessary. She sighed and knocked on Gaiuus door. The old physician opened with a smile. "Why, hello Gwen. What brings you here?" He let her inside and she smiled at him.

"I must talk to Merlin; is he here?" She looked to his small chamber door, but it was closed.

"Is everything okay?" Gaius sat down on a stool and eyes Gwen with a slight critical eye.

"Yes, its nothing really. I just really must speak with him. Do you know where he is?"

"He should be on his way here for Arthur's chambers." Gaius answered helpfully.

Gwen smiled in relief. "If its not a bother I'll wait here for him."

And so, they sat down in comfortable silence, as Gaius wrote ingredients he was running out of and needed to buy in the market.

Merlin entered a moment later, looking very tired, and quite rustled.

"What happened to you?" Gaius asked in greeting.

"Its a long story." Merlin stopped mid-speech when he noticed Gwen. He smiled brightly. "Oh hey, Gwen."

"Hi, Merlin. I need to talk to you about something important."

Merlin looked at Gaius. Gaius only stared at Merlin.

"Sure, of course. Lets go talk in my room."

Merlin awkwardly let Gwen inside and there, she sat on a chair and he on the bed.

"Merlin...are you and Morgana fighting?" Gods that sounded stupid. There was no way of reaching this conversation. If Merlin didn't know of Morgana's recent affections for him, Gwen had no right in telling him. That only made it a lot harder.

Merlin's head snapped to Gwen and his eyes were momentarily wide.

"Merlin, what's going on?" In a moment of seriousness, Gwen sort of glared at Merlin.

"What? Nothing." Merlin said quickly. "I didn't even know we were fighting."

"Really? Because everyone in the same room as you can feel the tension. Its not a very comfortable feeling, Merlin. Tell me what's going on." Gwen crossed her hands and looked at Merlin in the eyes.

"What happened?"

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	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, though I wish I did.**

**A/N: okay second chapter in this story. Today, it wont be that exciting. Mostly just Gwen/Merlin interaction. Enjoy. :)**

It was true that Morgana and Merlin had been going through a very prolonged silence treatment. Merlin didn't want to think there was a problem going on between them. For all he knew the only problem was just an uncomfortable sense that there would be a fight if any of them breached the silence problem. He was sure that it was very childish of him to allow the silence to go on, but something told him it was needed.

Every time he spoke to Morgana he said the weirdest things ever. It was more than embarrassing, and Merlin relied on the silence to not get into more uncomfortable situations.

It seemed that it hadn't been the best move, because Gwen was now staring at him with a very frustrated look?

"Merlin, what happened?" Gwen repeated, voice soft. The only one she could get any information from was Merlin. Morgana already proved to be a very stubborn mule. Gwen loved the girl, but she had to admit that Morgana refused help even when it was best to accept it.

There it was again, the frustrated look. His insides twitched with anxiety. Truth was something Merlin stood by, but now it wouldn't hurt him to evade it. "Nothing." Merlin sighed in relief. That wasn't a whole lie.

Gwen looked at Merlin with a frown on her face. "Are you sure?"

Merlin nodded after thinking of the last month or so that everything had started. " Yes; I'm sure nothing happened."

Gwen crossed her arms and sighed. "Merlin, you and Morgana have been. . . ignoring each other. There hasn't been a time when you two are in the same room that every one just gets a bit...jittery."

"Jittery?" Merlin looked at her not convinced at all; the simple idea was a bit hard to believe.

"It may be hard to believe, but yes. Merlin tell me, at least, what you think is going on." Gwen said and sat down next to him. "It's important. Just, please, tell me."

Merlin looked down, took a moment to think about what to say, then looked up. "I'm not sure."

Gwen looked at Merlin completely dumbfounded. "You don't know? What do you mean you don't know?"By now Gwen had stood up and looked positively overwhelmed. This whole situation was tiring. She tried to find the solution, only to have something get in her way.

"Gwen, are you alright?" Merlin grabbed Gwen by her shoulders and shook her a bit. "Gwen, relax!"

Distressed, Gwen nodded and just breathed in and out once.

"How is that possible?" Gwen whispered, before a light bulb turned on in her head. Merlin shook his head in answer to her question, as she stared at him like he was the missing piece to a puzzle.

"Gwen?"

Gwen looked better now. Her small outburst had surprised him a bit, but Merlin's shock went away when Gwen had relaxed.

Now, she was staring at him weirdly.

"Merlin do you-"

"Merlin, I asked you to quickly return-" Arthur stopped mid-sentence when he caught sight of Gwen in Merlin's arms. He composed himself quickly before smiling. Or putting on what he hoped appeared to be a smile. "What's going on here?"

Seeing his death in Arthur's eyes, Merlin let go of Gwen and gulped visibly. Gwen smiled at Arthur, before lowering her gaze a bit.

"Nothing." Merlin said stepping closer to Arthur. "We were just talking. I lost track of time; I'm sorry."

"You better be." Arthur said under his breath, before adding loudly. "Come on then Merlin. I'm not getting any younger. Let's get me bathed and dressed for the banquet tonight."

"Of course." Merlin turned to Gwen. "We'll talk later." In his head, he was sure to thank the Gods for Arthur coming then.

They both left and Gwen was left outside of Merlin's room.

"Gwen, did you talk to Merlin about you needed to?" Gaius asked still sitting in the table.

Gwen looked at him for a moment, before smiling. "Yes. I asked him everything I needed. Now, I better go help Morgana get ready for her bath as well."

Gaius nodded and Gwen left. Now sure more than ever that Merlin did like Morgana. There was something that stopped him from openly admitting those feelings, but now Gwen didn't care for that. It was all so romantic, and she couldn't help, but giggle as she walked the hall ways to Morgana's chamber. It was all so sweet.

"Gwen?" Morgana's voice came when Gwen opened her chamber door.

"Yes?" Gwen walked to where Morgana was standing behind the screen, hair wet and looking at her dresses. "Do you need any help?"

"Just a bit. I don't know what to wear."

Gwen quickly pulled out a nice light green dress that had gems in its hem and bodice. It trailed behind Morgana and it brought out the beauty of her eyes.

"Did you talk to Merlin?" Morgana asked quietly, her back to Gwen.

Gwen smiled at Morgana's subtle shyness. "Yes, I did." She saw Morgana's back tense a bit.

"Did he tell you anything?" Morgana tried to keep her curiosity away from her voice, but it had been a bit since she talked to Merlin.

"No." Gwen waited for Morgana's reaction, but all she got was a, "Oh."

Morgana felt saddened by that. Did Merlin really tried to avoid her so much that he could not even discuss her. Once the dress was fitted and Gwen and Morgana were finishing Morgana's hair, Morgana looked into her reflection's eyes. She knew what she had to do.

"Gwen, do you know the girl's name?" Morgana asked, voice emotionless, but sounding very innocent. Morgana was proud of it.

"Who?" Gwen stopped her frantic movements to fix Morgana's hair and looked at Morgana's reflection.

"The girl; the one that was with Merlin earlier today." Morgana said with a smile. "She was nice. Do you know her name?"

Gwen looked at Morgana before she said. "Freya."

Morgana put a soft smile on her face. "A beautiful name for a beautiful girl."

"Yes, everyone loves her. She's very liked by the kitchen servants."

"Like I said earlier, it's hard not to like her."

Now that she knew Freya's name, Morgana would later try to see what she could do. For now, her plan still revolved around poor, innocent Merlin.

Morgana smiled at herself; she was looking forward for the banquet tonight. It was going to be a night to remember.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**A/N: I'm glad that many people like my story, here's the new chapter.**

Everything was polished and decorated as other nights. Gwen, Merlin and Arthur were spread out in the room. While Morgana sat bored and alone in a table far from the others. Her eyes never leaving Merlin's spot.

She was getting very obsessed with Merlin, but could she be blamed. _He was the most adorable person-_

Morgana shook her head in emberrasment.

What on the Gods earth was she going on about?

_Merlin was not adorable! He was hard-working, smart, a worry-wart..._

Morgana watched Merlin with a smile, her list of Merlin grew in size.

_Sweet, kind, a charming smile, goofy as well._

Once again, Morgana shook her head. Her face was red as a tomato. It only got darker in shade when Merlin looked over. He offered a smile. Morgana smiled back.

_That evil creature! How can he just smile and assume everything he's done is okay? He's wrong!_

The banquet was going just as planned. Most of the guests were already drunk on wine. Morgana was one of them. She sees Freya and Merlin talking in the corner and a dull ache brings tears to her eyes. It's been like that all night. Morgana went forward with being civil. Her plan against Merlin seemed a bit harsh. So Morgana had opted to just give herself a break.

Well, Merlin was giving no one a break. So Morgana wiped the tears off her eyes, and smiled when she saw that no one caught her movement.

She stood up and walked over to Sir Leon.

"Milady." He stood up and bowed to her in respect.

Morgana giggled. "Please, don't give me such pleasantries. You're being much too modest." She giggled and pulled her drink to her that it spilled over her dress. "Oh no..." She giggled a bit more.

Leon looked around as others looked at the pair. "Milady..." He wanted nothing more than to give the woman some space. She was beautiful, no denying that, but when she drank, she lost sense of everything. "I think you should retire to your..."

Leon didn't get to finish because Morgana did a drastic thing.

She had been feeling a bit woozy for some time now. So she decides to flirt with Leon. Put on the charm and be sure that Merlin was watching. And he was, but soon he had started to look away. Morgana couldn't have that!

So she looked at the babbling Leon and did what came most natural to her. She stood on her tippy toes and sloppily kissed Sir Leon.

Morgana didn't have time to enjoy the kiss because Leon pushed her away. Shortly after Morgana heard Uther roar in anger. "Morgana!"

Completely sober and a bit afraid, she looked to Uther. Arthur was next to him. The room was spinning, everything made no sense. But the one thing she did see was the blank look of Merlin right before he left.

Morgana watched in, what she could only describe as hurt, as Merlin left. Freya caught Morgana's eye and had a very disapproving frown on her face. Morgana felt shocked. Angry. How dare she?

"How could you, Morgana!" Uther screamed hours later. He, Morgana, Arthur, Gwen and Gaius were all squished in the room. Morgana sitting on a chair, while Arthur stood next to his Father; arms crossed. Face closed to everything. He wasn't going to talk today. Gaius and Gwen stood on either side of Morgana's chair. Leon had been there as well, but after a whole hour of Morgana trying to explain that he had nothing to do with the kiss, and Uther threatening the poor, frightened knight's life; Leon was finally able to leave. Forgiven and clear off any charges.

Morgana had taken a bath, the faint memory blurred because of the wine, was the only proof she had of what had happened. She looked down in shame. "How could you act in such a manner? Did I raise you in such ways?"

Morgana was having a bad headache. Uther screaming at her was not helping. That was probably why she said this:

"Raise me? When were you there to raise me? The only person who raised me; who taught me right from wrong, is Gaius!" Morgana screamed, standing up.

Arthur looked ready to intervene, but a glare from his Father stopped him from further action.

Morgana saw this and her anger grew tenfold. "If you wondered where my manners are; then wonder no more. You did a well job in not teaching them to me." She turned sharply and left the room.

Leaving everyone stunned and shocked.

Uther sighed. Age and life as a King were taking a toll on his health. He was losing to a young girl! Morgana had fight in her, Uther was glad of that. What he wasn't glad of was the level of defiance she was reaching. He turned to the maid that was always with Morgana. "You. Keep an eye on her. Don't leave her alone."

Gwen nodded confused by such orders, but asked nothing.

"Now go. I fear that if she's let alone, she will rebel again and try to escape." Uther pinched the bridge of his nose. Morgana was sure trouble. There was one thing he was thankful for; she kept him on his toes. A surprise war with a sorcerer would be nothing with the years of fighting he and Morgana were used to.

Gwen ran after the quick walking Morgana.

"Morgana? Morgana, wait." Gwen rushed to Morgana's side and forced her to stop and turn to her. "Morgana, what happened out there?"

"Where?" Morgana asked with a cold smile. "In the banquet or in Uther's study?"

"Both." Gwen said, panting.

Morgana felt the warm sting of tears coming to her eyes, but she shook her head. She was not going to cry. She had already humiliated herself enough.

Her plan was so simple. She would try to taunt Merlin by being with a knight. Morgana had not forseen how her actions would be interpreted. Though they would probably be interpreted correctly. She had not predicted, however, her drunken haze that made her act on impulse.

Morgana choked down a frustrated sob and walked to her chamber. Gwen behind her.

Gwen was furious, too. Not at Morgana or anyone, but herself.

"Merlin told me." She blurted out when she closed the door to Morgana's chamber. She was about to say that Melin had told her that there was a problem, but he wasn't sure what it was. She never got to say that.

"Really? Merlin actually told you how dumb I've been? How much he hates me?" Tears welled in her eyes and as much as she tried to prevent them, they still rolled down her cheeks. "How he's interested in that girl?"

Gwen's mouth dropped as Morgana told her all the truth. Her rational mind screamed to do something. To comfort Morgana, but Gwen only watched. Morgana taught that Merlin liked Freya?

Gwen wasn't sure of that. It might look like he did, but Merlin acted like that with many girls. Gwen rolled eyes. As strange as it seemed, Merlin appeared to be Camelot's new charmer. Following Arthur's and probably Leon's footsteps. Maybe even Lancelot's, but he was put to the test. He wasn't really a resident on Camelot. He was still very charming.

The enamoured smile fell off of Gwen's face when Morgana wiped her eyes and sniffled. Her heart swelled up and she sat next to Morgana. "We don't know that he likes her, Morgana." Gwen said softly. "We're very sure that he doesn't hate you. That we're sure of."

Morgana smiled weakly. "Yes, I know." She sniffled a bit more.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" Gwen asked quietly.

"Because I wasn't sure what I was feeling. Most often than not, I pushed away the feelings. I just...I've never felt this way before." Morgana sighed as she played with her dress. "I'm completely obsessed."

Gwen giggled. "No, you're completely besotted."

"I am not-" Morgana began to argue, a sharp look from Gwen stopped her mid-argument. Morgana sighed and smiled weakly before she shook her head. "I am completely besotted."

Gwen hugged the tired and distressed young ward. "Yes, you are." She rocked her back and forth, humming an old song her mother used to sing to her. Morgana was asleep on her shoulder in no time. Gwen smiled warmly at Morgana and laid her down. There she stood and left the chambers. Readying herself for tomorrow's gossip of Morgana's abrupt actions that night.

Gwen looked at Morgana sadly, before closing the door behind her.

Morgana sure had a lot to deal with already. The added gossip would not help. Some one had to fix this. The best thing to do was for Morgana to talk to Merlin. Gwen almost smiled at her brilliant plan. Then she frowned,; Morgana would never agree to that. Gwen shook her head. She would figure something out tomorrow. Now she would head home and go to sleep.

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**The above and decorated message is not for show. Its put up there for a reason. Now, be kind enough to review and I will really be glad. I'll even give this story my best. If not, my inspiration will die because I don't think many of you like my story. So please, make my day and review! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**A/N: I know its been a long time, and that this chapter is going to be very small, but you guys will like it. I promise. Or i hope you guys will. Oh and i might not be able to write in a while so please forgive me. I will finish them, but for now all my stories will be on hiatus. I'm sorry, but enjoy this chapter.  
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Merlin was pulled down to the bed by Freya, they were passionately kissing as the sun outside shone on Merlin's sweaty back. Freya in an instant of breathing, rolled over so she was on top. She smiled teasingly at Merlin, who could only smile back before she attacked his lips once more.

Freya reached to pull off Merlin's white shirt. Once it was over his head and he was left bare chested, Merlin started to do the same with Freya's dress. Just as you could see a hint of her bosom-

Morgana sat up in fright. "Oh Gods why?" She gasped out. The morning light hit her softly and she felt her heart beat wildly in her chest. What was that? Did she have sweets the night before, why was she having nightmares?

"Morgana?" Gwen entered the room with a trey of food. "Are you alright?"

"I just had a nightmare." Morgana replied.

"I see." Gwen sat down on the bed. "What was it about?"

"It's too horrible, you don't want to know." Morgana said, not wishing to speak her dream out loud.

"It couldn't have been that bad." Gwen said, calmly.

"Merlin and Freya were in the throes of passion right before I awoke." Morgana confessed, scarred by the faint images that were starting to disappear from her mind.

"Throes of passion?" Gwen asked.

"They were kissing and-" Morgana shook her head. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"I'm sorry." Gwen said.

For the rest of the day, Gwen did not venture to ask Morgana about her dream. From the abrupt silence she gave everyone, especially Merlin and Sir Leon, Gwen guessed it would be better to leave everything as it was. At least for now. But there was someone she did want to talk with.

"Hello, Freya." Gwen smiled widely at the beautiful servant girl. "How are you this fine day?"

"Great actually." Freya replied. "I love it here."

"Really?" Gwen asked, and was about to ask something else when Freya blushed when she looked behind Gwen. Gwen turned and all she saw was Merlin. "Merlin?"

"What?" Merlin asked from way over there by the corner of the hall. Gwen and Freya were right by the other end. Gwen wondered if those big ears of his were good for hearing. Now she had her answer.

"Good morning, Merlin." Gwen said, lying through her teeth and blushing. She fumbled with her skirt and began to stammer. "I was just w-wonder if you were -if this was a good day?"

"It is. Thank you for asking." Merlin answered honestly to her.

"Good, i better go." Gwen left before he could say anything else.

Morgana was in her chambers. Her thoughts still on her dream. It was not a pretty picture; not a picture she'd liked to become reality. With her thoughts in her head rolling back and forth, Morgana decided to just have a small walk. She was out by the stables, admiring the horses when she saw a familiar tall, lanky kid. A smile formed in her lips and she aimed to see better.

But soon she wished she hadn't. With him was Freya. How could this be? Not Merlin. Could her dream be real? No it could not she would not allow it.

That was a promise.

Arthur walked down to the stables and almost walked into Morgana, "Morgana!" He exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

Morgana attempted to look normal. "Nothing." On the inside, she was fuming, but gave herself no reason to be angry. Arthur looked at her confused. "I believe Guinevere is looking for you."

Morgana nodded and walked away before Arthur could say anything else. Arthur watched her go, looking offended. "Fine, be rude about it," he muttered before turning to the stalls. "Merlin? Are you in here? Oh, well hello. I didn't know old Merlin here had some company."

Arthur smiled at Freya who tried to smile back, but mostly she bowed to him in respect. "My lord."

Arthur waited for her to say something else, but when it became clear that she was not going to say anything, Arthur turned to Merlin. "Merlin, a word?"

Merlin followed him a bit away from Freya. "Yes?"

"Have you noticed anything strange from Morgana?" Arthur asked.

Merlin shifted uncomfortably. "No, why?"

Arthur stared at him, eyes narrowed. "Why do I have the feeling that you're lying to me?"

"Because you've become skeptical, a very good trait to learn as you will be future king of Camelot." Merlin blurted out.

Arthur glared at him. "Are you trying to flatter me?"

"No," answered Merlin.

Arthur sighed. "Fine, how about Guinevere?"

"Oh, well just the other day she asked me if I saw something strange in Morgana." Merlin answered, honestly.

"Really?" Arthur looked at Merlin interested. "There's something going on, Merlin. And you're going to help me figure out what it is."

Oh dear Gods, Merlin thought. He's gone insane. I can't let him find out what Morgana's been bothered by. He'll kill me. Just kill me dead! "Are you sure that's the best idea?" Merlin asked, voice shaking.

"It's the only idea I can think of since you've been of no help whatsoever,"-Arthur paused a moment to roll his eyes-, "Honestly Merlin, you don't understand if Guinevere's noticed Morgana's strange behavior it won't be long before Father does. Then it'll be a problem." He began to walk to the castle, Merlin followed him. "Come on, lets go. The idea of getting into Morgana's business sounds as bad to me as it does to you, but it'll be better this way. Believe me."

I hope, Merlin thought guiltily, as they both made their way up to the castle.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own the story and I will not abide to ever having own any of the characters. The only thing I have control over is the plot. Thank you.**

**A/N: It's been so long, but I'm finally back and I will finish this story as well as my other ones. And I will make sure to do as I promised. Like I've said before I will not let my slowness stop me from finishing what I start. I hope you all are understanding and I hope that you guys aren't angry because I didn't finish my stories in record time. I'm sorry. But here to finish off my _Nothing Better Than A Broken Heart_ sequel (which I will start referring as NBTABH), is chapter 5 of _The call of the Heart_. Enjoy.**

Arthur and Merlin had not had any luck in finding out what was wrong with Morgana, something Merlin was very glad of. But even with no progress, Merlin could see that Arthur was not about to give in. And to be completely honest, Merlin had to have a talk with Gwen so he could solve all of this. Everything had been so normal before and now everything was upside down. It was good, then, that Freya was here to let him relax in his free time. By three days into her arrival, Merlin had allowed her to go with him and pick herbs, they both even went into the city to buy some needed supplies for the kitchen. Something Merlin did voluntarily. It was a miracle Arthur had not chewed off his head from being absent for so long. Merlin guessed it was just good luck. Unfortunately for him, Morgana was not about to have it.

She had kept a good eye on her behavior and upon realizing that she was bringing unwanted attention to herself, she decided to behave properly again. Uther was shocked, thinking Morgana would become more defiant, but with a great memory he decided to remember to later thank the handmaiden for her great job.

But it was a different story when Gwen and Morgana were alone in Morgana's chambers.

"Morgana, you need to stop this behavior." Gwen said, glaring at her friend and mistress. "Hiding in your room helps no one."

"I'm helping me, Gwen. If you haven't noticed I haven't done anything wrong in the last few days that have made Uther yell or scream at me. I'm becoming very proud of myself, actually."

"I, too, believe this is a great achievement, but not an achievement that has been kept in complete freedom of stress. You're angry, I can see it and it's not good for you to keep all these feelings inside." Gwen chastised, and brushed at Morgana's long hair. She smiled at her friend through the mirror and hugged her. "I'm very proud that you haven't hurt Merlin or Arthur, but I want you safe first. It helps to practice tolerance with openly, admitted feelings."

Morgana laughed sarcastically. "Gwen, you do realize that if I dealt with my feelings I wouldn't have that much tolerance left."

"Yes, you would." Gwen argued and kept a straight face until Morgana gave in. "So, I say we practice talking of our feelings." Morgana avoided eye contact, but Gwen wouldn't fall for that one. "Should we start with Merlin or Freya?"

"I..." Morgana growled deep within her throat, and tried not to think of answering Gwen. "No, Gwen, I won't answer that, you can't make me."

"Morgana, you're acting like a child, talk to me, tell me how you feel." Gwen pleaded and gave Morgana one of her softest, most innocent-looking eyes that she knew would have Morgana spilling out her guts in no time.

"Fine, I really like Merlin. He's such an idiot, however, in having such a taste in women as Freya." Gwen gave her a mean look which made Morgana sigh and relent. "I really think that he could do better." Gwen's pointed look said a lot. "Fine, I feel jealous." Gwen smiled in victory. "I don't really see how this helps me."

"You'll see the effects soon enough." Gwen promised and resumed to put up Morgana's hair.

Morgana wanted to not say anything, but then having Gwen here and feeling particularly vulnerable, she said, "Freya and Merlin, they really like each other."

Gwen stopped and wanted to say something positive to her friend, but didn't know how.

Morgana knew that as soon as she had said those words that a whole avalanche of them would come out. "I know that they're going to be together." Morgana said, tears in her eyes as she pictured her dream in her mind. Gwen sadly watched as her friend break down in tears, and all she could do was hug her.

It is very unfortunate to say that in the privacy of Freya's room, Merlin and Freya were giggling and laughing as they made their way to her bed. Their friendship had been born to extreme, rapid lengths and Merlin was overwhelmed by how happy he felt to be around her. But one thing was for sure, he had not expected for things to be so quick.

The enamored birds both slowly reached the bed and kissed passionately, until they were both engulfed in all the intensity of it. Freya in all astuteness waited for the perfect opportunity to switch her and Merlin's position so she was straddling his hips.

The smile she gave him could only be called feline. A cat playing with her mouse, enjoying her time, and taking pleasure from the experience all together. Merlin, a bit taken aback by such a different persona, smiled back with as much enthusiasm as he was granted before Freya took hold of his lips again. Sitting up, they both aimed to take off his shirt, and proceeded to take off the rest of their clothes.

Merlin loved the experience. The feel of belonging, of unity. It took his breath away, having never imagined that it would be this way. Together, they were one. The love they felt for one another, it swelled up inside Merlin's heart. This experience was the most beautiful thing Merlin had ever encountered in his short life. It was all thanks to Freya, the girl of his dreams. The beautiful girl he had shared such a sweet, tender experience with him.

Resting in her bed, with Freya sleeping in her arms, Merlin could not foresee any greater advantage. He could not think of anyone who could bring him the same love and joy that Freya gave him. But like all things in life, there was another side to everything. No matter how much Merlin tried to escape from those thoughts, even then as he laid there with Freya, in her bed, after such a powerful expression of love, in the back of his mind was Morgana.

He tried really, really hard to push away those thoughts from his mind, and focused as much as he could in Freya, but it could not be done. Morgana was in his mind; and Merlin soon felt like the biggest ass in all humanity.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: You guys know I don't own the characters. Just the plot. :)**

**A/N: This story is going to be getting better and better, I hope. I love how its coming and if you guys don't like it too bad. But I know it will be great. :)**

Morgana had considered living in complete isolation. Without her knowledge, Merlin and Freya were growing more and more closer, but she could feel it. She could _dream_ it.

It drove her crazy.

The fact was that she had to deal with not having Merlin to herself anymore. She had lost her chance and most of the time she thought if she ever did had any chance at all.

Merlin was a free man and he never showed any sign of interest toward her. Gwen's words were nothing compared to the proof Morgana build in her head every day.

_I need to stop being so pessimistic_, Morgana thought to herself, while only mildly lying to herself. She needed to have some closure.

"I'm going out to my Father's grave." Morgana told Arthur, who had, in his mission to find out what was going on with Morgana, visited her that day.

"Today?" Arthur asked, a bit miffed, but then thought better of it. "Of course."

He went to get Uther's approval, knowing it wasn't necessary. Uther could be angry with Morgana for whatever amount of time, he would still give her anything she wanted.

All the while, Arthur began to guess. Maybe this had been the reason why Morgana had been acting so strange lately.

Having no doubt that this was the answer to all his questions, Arthur got three horses. For him, Morgana, and Gwen. Merlin was Gods knew were and Arthur didn't want to miss on the opportunity to prove his theory right.

The woods that day were dark and grey, just like Morgana's mood. She kept a straight face, but Gwen and Arthur, if they looked at her closely, they could see how miserable she really felt.

When they arrived to the ruins, about half an hour on horseback, Morgana got off and walked purposely to the gravestone. She knelt down next to it and quietly let her thoughts flow back and forth. She remembered only little of her father and though Uther proved to be a better father figure, at least protective wise, Morgana's father had been her father. It was a title that could not easily be taken away.

_I don't know what to do, Father_. Morgana thought, miserably_. Merlin and I...we're not meant to be, but if that is true why do I have such strong feelings for him? I don't want to be a fool, but I know. . .feel... that he loves me, too. It doesn't matter really._ She scoffed._ He's perfectly happy with Freya. Freya and her big brown eyes, and pretty face. I don't blame him, Father. She's really beautiful. Gwen must be lying when she tells me that Merlin could probably love me too. Merlin can be perfectly happy with her...I need to accept that. I know that if I really loved him I would let him be happy and he's obviously happy with her and not me._

Those thoughts broke her heart, but she knew that she was doing the greater good. Merlin, however much she loved him, had someone that he loved. All the love Morgana felt for Merlin, that Merlin felt for Freya, it was twisted and crazy. Nothing good came out of it. One of them would come out sad and Morgana understood it was her who would lose in the end.

Freya and Morgana (though it hurt Morgana to admit this) both loved Merlin, but it was Freya who Merlin loved. There was no way around it.

At the far edge of the graveyard, Gwen and Arthur both watched Morgana in concern.

"Do you think she's okay?" Gwen asked, worriedly.

"okay? Morgana's the strongest person I know." Arthur said with pride. "It's annoying really." He said, but he smiled as he said this.

Knowing he held no ill will, Gwen smiled at Arthur. Their eyes met before Gwen looked away to check on her mistress. Arthur, however, did not look away. He looked at Gwen like she was a stranger.

And she was.

Over the years he had known her, Gwen had always been nice and sweet, but kept herself away from him and the others. Only keeping communication with Morgana. Arthur found it normal, for all servants were like that, but Gwen was different it turned out.

She, out of all the knights, guards, servants, etc, was the one who was able to speak eloquently with him. Arthur had never had the option to think women smart and pretty at the same time. Other princess were a bit dumb and dramatic, and held no interest in swords or horses. Morgana was very well informed, but she was very fierce and bold, she thought herself equal to Arthur. Arthur knew before she even tried to gain his approval on this, that she was her equal, but never openly admitted it. Only ego and vanity would prevail once any words were uttered in that subject.

Gwen did not fit any of those descriptions. She was funny, congenial, smart, and as well informed as Morgana. She was different and very beautiful. It made Arthur wonder about her. It made him appreciate her, to have her not act like someone different once he was around. The more he focused on her, the more interesting she became.

Arthur was well aware of the dangers that could come from such close observation, but he already knew that his feelings for Gwen would soon change. They already had with the first noting of how incredibly beautiful she was.

It could not be controlled, but with Arthur's mind on Morgana, that was a good distraction. For now.

Morgana returned to her friends and with a smile on her face told them that it would be time to head home. She needed time to process her thoughts, but too much reflection would only end with her in more a negative state than she was already. So giving her mind a well deserved rest, she gave time to achieve some small talk between her two companions. They seemed to do well on their own, but to not get any attention on her lack of response, focused on the conversation and responded any time she had the chance.

In her spare moments, Morgana gave way to idle observation that she didn't focus on until she was in her chambers. To her, Gwen and Arthur were two well understood creatures. She knew them well enough by then, but only when she was in bed did she realize the subtle flirting and the prolonged, but accepted eye contact. Even the conversation had shown traces of teasing and small play, all the factors of possible attraction laid before her. And Morgana did not even notice until way too late.

She was not sure if she was right or wrong, but at dinner time when Merlin was once again rarely seen, she decided to focus on Arthur and Gwen, and how happy the results were!

They kept space and talk apart, if there wasn't a lack of advanced observers in the room, they would all have noticed the subtle eye contact. How every once in a while, even when other was not looking, one of them would look at each other.

Morgana could not have had a much better distraction!

It was so strange and yet so fascinating to her.

She would not bring any of this to conversation until she was sure of how each of them felt, but this did not bother her. It was a great way to not think of Merlin.

At night, in bed, Morgana looked out the window, she smiled softly as the moon glistened in the sky.

_I won't make any promises Father, Merlin might still deserve some sort of revenge on my part, but I'm glad that I have Gwen's possible feelings to distract me. It's a bad thought, I know, but she's my friend. I won't tell her anything if that's necessary, but I really do believe that she and Arthur have feelings for each other. _

Bidding her father goodnight, Morgana closed her eyes and let herself fall into her dreams.

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	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, just the plot.**

**A/N: Enjoy the story, I know I am. :)**

Morgana was beautiful, everyone in Camelot knew that, but apparently Morgana didn't think so. She felt very sad and angry with the whole Merlin situation, but it wasn't just in her waking moments.

Even in her dreams she still had Merlin trapping her in a cycle that would never stop. He would kiss Freya, touch her, and do things to her that Morgana did not want to see. This happened almost every night, and to make matters worse, Morgana didn't want to sleep anymore. She stayed awake as late as possible, pretend to be asleep before Gwen left and as soon as no one was there, she would sit up and count to a million.

Her own mind was driving her crazy and the worst thing was that she was feeling more and more jealous than before. A bit afraid of her dreams, she couldn't deny the fact that she hated Freya now more than ever.

_Being all smiles, cheeks red and sweet-looking..._Morgana rolled her eyes. _She just probably has a good spell over Merlin._

__The dreams did not end and neither did her feelings, but a girl with an overwhelming amount of feelings is never a good thing. Morgana was loosing her control over her judgement.

It all started when she began to talk to Leon again.

He was very cautious to never be alone with her her. Like that would help. Morgana perfectly remembered that she had _kissed_ him in public. The idea that she had even done such an act was unbelievable.

Morgana could be a flirt, it wouldn't hurt to throw in some charm here and there, but as far as she was concerned, nothing over passed the slight flirtation. To Morgana's clear judgement she hadn't even kissed anyone other than her pillow and that was just for a practice. A sad, lamenting memory, but Morgana had to start somewhere.

It was all Uther's doing. He cared too much in one part of Morgana's life and too little in others. Unfortunately for her this meant to courting or romantic relations. Many knights have longed to ask the King for the honor of having Morgana as their proposed wife in the future, but things did not seem likely. Ever.

But Leon had changed that. Her kiss with him had been sloppy and small, only lips touching lips. Nothing special. To Morgana's recollection she hadn't had enough time to feel any spark because Leon had pulled away.

Nonetheless, even though she was still furious with Merlin, Morgana wanted to ask for forgiveness from Leon.

The thing was it didn't go as planned, not when Leon had the impression that Morgana had feelings for him. Morgana could see it, the way he talked to her; just by how he looked at her gave a lot away. Leon could act as cautious as he wanted, but it was still obvious his feelings for her had changed.

Morgana, for some unknown reason, had found herself flattered. And this was where she was losing her judgement.

As Leon talked to her, red as a tomato, she vacillated between giving in to the urge to flirt back, while at the same time hating herself for making the poor man suffer so. She wanted to end it, she really, really did, but not as much as she had hoped.

"You look very beautiful today, milady." Leon told her with a small smile forming in his lips.

Morgana smiled at him, looked down as she thought of what to say, then looked back up and gave him a coy smile.

"You look charming yourself, Sir Leon." She said, with as much indifference as she could muster, but not enough for her not to smile at him.

The case was that she was leading the poor man on, and to Morgana's overtired mind, it didn't matter. She liked the attention she was getting. She liked that for the first time in ages a man had taken an interest in her. Sure he wasn't the one she wanted, but he was enough.

Attractive, kind, charming; Leon was everything that Morgana liked. So she smiled back at him and flirted with all she got. Ignoring the fact that Leon was not the one for her.

Their small talk had been broken when Arthur walked over to them, looking very stern. To Morgana's utter surprise Merlin was there with him!

Shocked and surprised beyond belief, Morgana could not speak in the first moments when Arthur was lecturing Leon on how he had to focus on his practice, and how he would appreciate it if Morgana kept herself in the castle while practice was taking place.

As soon as she realized the meaning of Arthur's words, Morgana went straight into defensive mode.

"I came to talk to Sir Leon, is that really bad of me to do? Am I not allowed to talk to Camelot's loyal knights?" Morgana asked, not really caring that she sounded mean or not.

Arthur gave her a blank stare. "You know why you can't do that, Morgana." Arthur looked between Leon and Morgana and for some reason (maybe having Merlin here to see her being humiliated by Arthur) Morgana just snapped.

"I think there's no reason for why I shouldn't talk to Leon. As long as I don't do anything undesirable, which by the way would be very desirable in my opinion. Uther just has a hard time understanding that." She glared at Arthur, coldly acknowledge Merlin by giving him a nod, and smiling at Leon with more than enough flirtation for all four of them to almost touch, before leaving.

Arthur and Leon were both shocked and strangely confused by this behavior. Arthur because this was not what he had expected. He was not dumb, but he had not seen any of this coming. From days of having observed her, nothing led to him even having the slightest clue that Morgana had any remote feelings for Leon. Leon was almost in the same lines as Arthur, he had been convinced that Morgana had just behaved the way she had on that banquet because of the drinks she had taken. Not once did he even guess that the young lady would ever express any natural feeling towards him. That did not mean that he did not like the attention, that was something both he and Morgana had in common, though they both didn't really know it. At least not Leon.

Merlin was a very confused person by then. All his ignoring and avoiding of Morgana had been strengthened when he had started to have those thoughts of Morgana every time he was with Freya. He knew it was Freya he was with, but sometimes, when he was alone or on an errand for Gaius Merlin would wonder what would happen if Morgana was in Freya's place. For more than one time did Merlin hate himself, but he had feelings for her the first time he had laid eyes on her. She was an angel, so very close and yet so very far.

By rank Merlin knew that their love could never be, Arthur's warnings of that were not of much help, and so Merlin learned to quell down his feelings. It wasn't hard, he had magic and Arthur to worry about. His feelings were soon concealed beneath all his duties.

But not so long ago, Merlin's feelings had began to resurface. He didn't know when they had started, but he couldn't ignore them any longer. Morgana grew closer to him and he knew that to keep himself from being rejected or hurt, he had to pull away. Morgana wouldn't hurt him, but the fact that he was from inferior birth, it ravaged him, destroyed it. It killed him to know that just by who he was Morgana could not be his.

That was how it all had started, but the thing was, feelings could not be hidden. The heart could not be controlled.

Morgana noticed that he watched her, she noticed when he said things he shouldn't have said, but he couldn't control it.

The only thing he could do is make it clear to himself that they could never be and so Arthur had been his main focus ever since.

Freya came almost as if he had prayed for her to come. She was the one who kept him from Morgana, and Merlin knew that he could learn to love her. He loved her now, but often he would find himself thinking of Morgana.

Worst of all, he hadn't noticed that he had been angry at Morgana having kissed Leon until he saw her talking with Leon then.

He clenched his hands into fists and made himself look away. What was he thinking? He was with Freya. Those were his thoughts when he managed to get a hold of himself.

He had no right in feeling this was.

The truth was, he did have the right, because he loved her. As much as he wanted to hide it, to lie about it, to find love in another's arms when it wasn't possible, Merlin still loved Morgana. With all his heart.

And it hurt.

Seeing Morgana talk to him that way. It hurt that he felt this way. That he was using Freya and that he couldn't turn back time so none of this happened.

Most of all it hurt that he couldn't hide it anymore.

It hurt so bad that Merlin wanted to rip out his heart and to finally not feel pain anymore.

Even if that meant to live in numbness for the rest of his life. It didn't matter anymore, all Merlin wanted was to not feel this way anymore.

This was wrong.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. :) Thank you.**

**A/N: Thank you to all of you who reviewed. :) Enjoy.**

Keeping a simple thing simple was never easy for Arthur. He had learned that early on.

He entered Morgana's chamber without even knocking. Hours after she had all but defied Uther's order to keep away from Leon, Arthur had to step in.

If Morgana didn't stop, Arthur would end up with the short end of the stick. Uther, being such a brilliant man, seemed satisfied enough to get in Arthur's way and leave him to deal with all of his burden's.

What a father.

Arthur didn't blame him, it was tough to be King.

Arthur moved stealthily through the room, searching for his annoying sister when Gwen came into view from behind the wardrobe.

"Sire." She bowed, face red and Arthur wished that he had not done as he had.

He forced a smile to his lips, but upon receiving the confused look on Gwen's face he sighed.

"Where's Morgana?" He asked, voice cold and composed.

Gwen looked down. "She went out to the library." She answered.

Arthur narrowed his eyes. "The library?" Leon wouldn't be there, but Geoffrey was. If Arthur chased her down to the library there was no doubt that Geoffrey would tear him limb by limb from causing a scene.

Gwen looked at Arthur from under her lashes, wondering why he was so interested in Morgana. She thought that maybe he knew of Morgana's feelings toward Merlin, but she doubted that was the reason for his interest.

Arthur, though he liked to hide it, was very protective of Morgana. Along their years together, Arthur learned to love Morgana. Gwen could see that. If he had a small inkling that Morgana liked Merlin that would be the end of it.

Arthur would not have Merlin anywhere near Morgana.

Arthur was very much like his father. That was one thing they had in common.

"She was bored and decided that a book would keep her distracted." Gwen said trying to get Morgana as far away from any suspicious behavior.

Arthur nodded without looking back at Gwen. "Good." When he finally looked up at her he gave her a smile. "Don't tell her that I came into her chamber."

"I will not." Gwen said and put down Morgana's dresses in the wardrobe. She felt Arthur watching her and turned slowly to him. "Is there anything I can help you with sire?" She asked.

Arthur was lost looking into her eyes, but shook his head. "I'll be going now." He said, not able to think of anything else.

"Alright." Gwen nodded and watched him go. As soon as he was gone, Gwen blushed. She was giving him too much attention.

_Not attention he doesn't deserve._ Gwen thought with a smirk._ He deserves the attention with all the practice he did._

It was not hard to see that Arthur was muscular and well fit. And to be attractive was just perfect. Gwen loved that.

_Those thoughts are wrong._ Gwen thought, biting her lip, but still felt a smile wiggle it's way into her lips.

Far off on the other side of the castle, Morgana was in the library looking for a book to not be bored anymore.

None of these are a good read. Morgana thought. She was right of course, most of them were herb books. She wouldn't even go into the restricted isle. Geoffrey would kill her without even being present.

She walked around an isle when she bumped into Merlin.

Seeing him brought heat to her face and she could hear her heart beating into her ears.

Merlin, unaware of her presence, kept on looking for the book Gaius had asked to find for him. It puzzled Merlin as to why Gaius needed to get a book on herbs when he knew them better than the books did.

Passing over the titles, he felt someone watching him. He looked up and held his breath.

None of them said a word, it wasn't necessary. Just by staring into each other's eyes was enough. The denied attraction, the need to say something, the unwanted love; it was all there.

Merlin cleared his throat and forced a smile on his face. "Milady." He said.

Morgana smiled back, but the resentment came back and she looked down sharply.

Feeling offended, Merlin frowned and he himself looked away.

For almost an eternity they both stood there; one looked up while the other was looking away, and then would look away only for the other to look back. They played that game for a while. Both of them knew that the other was looking back, but as soon as they looked...nothing.

Feeling irritated by such stupidity, Morgana smiled brightly.

"How have you been?" She asked.

"Busy." Merlin said, feeling his face tighten with seriousness. "Arthur and Gaius are a lot to handle."

"I bet." Morgana agreed with him.

And again the silence fell over them.

_This is stupid_, they both thought in their head.

Merlin and Morgana smiled at each other. They thought of many things to say, but nothing came to mind. All the anger that Morgana felt, it was gone; disappeared. She felt herself grow hot and she closed her eyes. Why was this so hard?

"I have to go." Merlin said, grabbing whatever book he could find.

Morgana, saddened by this, nodded.

As he turned to walk away Morgana gave way to one question.

"Merlin," she called, "How's Freya?"

There it was, the tension that bit at them, destroyed them for various reasons. The thing for which they could not be together.

"Fine." Merlin said, feeling threatened.

"She seems like a very nice girl." Morgana told him, sincerely.

"She is." Merlin said, voice crisp.

"You both seem happy." Morgana said, wanting to finally break the ice over this whole thing.

Merlin tensed up and wanted to not talk about this. "We are." He said, again with the same crisp tone.

"I'm happy for you." Morgana said, smiling weakly, and felt like crying. She sighed and walked away from him.

Merlin watched her go and leaned slightly on the table next to him. He closed his eyes and hated himself more than ever.

Walking away from the man she loved, but swore revenge on, Morgana once again had reason to want revenge, because her heart once again broke inside of her.

Unbeknownst to them both, Freya had watched from the very beginning everything that had been said between them. More able to read into their behavior, Freya saw the traces of something she did not want to see.

Panicked and stricken with horror, Freya decided at that moment that the Lady Morgana, although nice, would not get in the way of her love with Merlin.

Freya would not accept that. She walked out of the library after Merlin had left and made plans in her head to have Merlin all to herself. Still, inside her heart, she could not hide the way that Merlin had acted with Morgana. It was confusing and startling, because she knew that he felt something for her...and yet he hid that.

All she could think of was why?

Morgana sped to her room, feeling horrible by the mistake she had done of talking to Merlin. Of going to the library! There was no safe place from him. First outside in the practice fields and then when she had been in the library.

Gwen was startled by the harsh enter and jumped. Morgana smiled at her.

"I'm sorry."

"What happened?" Gwen asked.

Morgana told her everything, and Gwen absorbed all the details with shock and surprise. Gently she told her friend that everything would be okay.

"He doesn't even know how I feel, Gwen." Morgana told her friend, for the first time seeing her behavior objectively. "Oh no. He doesn't know, Gwen!" Seeing the confused look on Gwen's face made Morgana sigh. "That means that I've been acting so completely foolish for nothing. Merlin probably thinks me strange and therefore has less interest in me, if he ever had. He does hate me."

"No, he doesn't He could be confused by your actions, as is everyone, but he does not hate you." Gwen consoled, wrapping a hand over Morgana's shoulders.

"He doesn't know that I have feelings for him." Morgana said, voice full of lament.

Gwen watched her friend carefully as she said, "Will you ever tell him?"

"No!" The words rushed out of her mouth even before Morgana had time to think about it. She sighed. "It's for the best."

Gwen sat down next to her friend and gave her one of her best smiles. "It's never too late if you ever change your mind."

Morgana looked at the floor, her mind full of Merlin and Freya. "No, Gwen. It's already too late."

Gwen didn't know what to say and chose to hug her instead.

Welcoming the hug, Morgana rested her head on Gwen's shoulders.

She felt so stupid for liking Merlin and then acting like a lunatic because of it. Worst of all, Merlin didn't even know a thing.

She closed her eyes, ashamed of everything that she had done. Even Leon had been indirectly affected by this.

Morgana closed her eyes and hoped that she could make all of this better. Soon.

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	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Merlin does not belong to me, he never did.**

**A/N: Now again another chapter in this sad story of hidden truths.**

****Morgana scrubbed and scrubbed. The sleeves of her once beautiful dress were now ruined. She growled into the elbow-deep disgusting water and hated Arthur for intruding in her business.

She sighed and once again trying to control her anger, for the millionth time, grabbed her sleeves raised them up and kept on washing the dishes.

Arthur had told Uther about Morgana's little conversation with Sir Leon and as expected Uther punished Morgana with cleaning the dishes.

It was quite a disgusting thing. Morgana felt bad for the maid and servants who did this all the time, but then felt even more angry than before.

Uther had ordered that she do the plates _alone._

__Morgana could just smack Arthur up the head right this moment.

Thrashing the goblets and plates around to get the silverware, Morgana bite down a scream.

"You seem to have some problems with the dishes." Freya stated, walking from the kitchen door.

Thinking that this was still a good relationship between them both, Morgana smiled at the smaller lady only to receive a cold smile in return. Not understanding where all this behavior had come from, Morgana turned to her, face a mask of complete indifference.

"They do like to struggle. Not to mention that the soap makes them even more slippery." Morgana teased, knowing they were very bad jokes.

Freya didn't seem to notice, if anything she grew even more colder than before. She gave Morgana a wistful smile.

"You and Merlin know each other for a while?" Freya asked, tone holding no anger, not even curiosity. Morgana said yes. "Are you two good friends?"

Morgana watched Freya, confused, as she asked those questions. Her mind was already irritated from the dishes, she did not need this as well.

"What's your point?" Morgana asked, not beating around the bush.

Freya laughed. "The point is that I think you feel a little something more than friendship for Merlin." Morgana tried to keep her face smooth and unassuming, but knew that she had failed when Freya narrowed her eyes. "Am I right?"

"There's no reason for you to worry, he hates me." Morgana told her, voice cold. The girl with the beautiful smile and innocence of face, had disappeared and instead Morgana was now dealing with this lunatic.

Freya laughed darkly.

"Merlin, may have you believe he does, but I'm not as stupid as you." Freya crossed her arms. "He loves you."

Morgana stared at her shocked. "He..."

"Keep away from him." Freya warned, and turned to leave.

Already distraught from that unbelievable piece of information, Morgana lost her wits. In silence and anger, she finished the dishes and when she retired to her chamber, Gwen had not been there. Wanting to for one day, keep her grip on her feelings, Morgana sat in her vanity chair and stared at herself in the mirror.

That's all she did, she stared at the mirror, at her reflection, and thought. She closed her eyes a couple of times, but that only became her enemy.

She watched her face grow pink and grow into a soft smile.

Freya could be wrong, but Morgana still felt like she could believe that. But then she couldn't.

Remembering Freya's warning's Morgana felt a hot rage burn through her. _How dare she!_ Was what her mind screamed when nothing else filled her thoughts. Freya had no reason to believe that Morgana would ever get in the way of true love such as theirs. She had already given up on them both, on the possible love that could have been.

Morgana decided to let Merlin be happy. He didn't deserve to have problems and just thinking of her punishment of having to clean plates for weeks...that was enough excuse for her to give up on their love.

Dare she believe it, Morgana was becoming more and more enthused in the idea of having to talk to Merlin. But as soon as the idea came the reasons stated above came to mind. It was easy to tangle herself into another love, but she couldn't deal with the consequences.

Oh but how much she wished to know what Merlin had to say in the subject. Years of learning how to be a young lady had pulled off, because it was then that she felt shy and delicate. It was so unnerving and yet, it fit so well. Merlin always made her feel off balance. He took away all her restrictions, her inhibitions; he gave her the opportunity to live life. At least he had before. Now, because of whatever reason, he had pulled away from her, and so her mind once again mounted reasons why Freya had been wrong all along.

Merlin couldn't love her. It was just too much of a chance to say that he had. Not even with the certainty which Freya had spoken with was not enough for Morgana to believe such things.

When Gwen came into her room after wandering around the palace trying to keep herself busy, Morgana watched for any signs of distress in her friend, but at once, finding no problem with her smiling friend, told her of all the events that had transpired in the kitchen. Gwen gasped and shook her head in disbelief at the appropriate times. Morgana laughed at all the strange happenings, and soon found that what had seemed so stressing once alone, was no more than a joke once she told her dear friend.

"You can't deny that he likes you now." Gwen teased, but grew serious when Morgana gave her a small glare. "Fine, sorry, but you have to admit that he does like you."

"Gwen, this is all so confusing." "Morgana confessed to her dear friend.

Gwen smiled softly. They both talked into the late hours of the night. When Gwen was ready to go, Morgana soon told her to stay. Gwen refused, but with a little more pressing from Morgana's part, Gwen stayed for the night. After having made more room in the bed for the both of them, Morgana pressed her head to the pillow and thought of all that had been said that day.

She smiled when she thought of the good, and clenched her hand when she thought of the bad. It was all so confusing, and yet she was a bit exhilarated. The idea of Merlin having feelings for her had reached her mind many times, but she could never believe it. Now with straightforward words from Freya, Morgana was even more confused.

"Don't think too much about it." Gwen told her, and Morgana froze as she stared at her friend, who had her eyes closed she looked asleep. Gwen opened her eyes and grinned at the surprise in Morgana's face. "Believe me, you'll know more of anything if you don't think too much about it."

Morgana smiled back, lazily. "You're right, sorry."

"Don't apologize this must be very hard for you. I can't imagine being in your shoes." Gwen stated and snuggled on the pillow.

Morgana thought of talking to her about Arthur, but she decided against it when she thought of if Gwen wanted to bring up the subject she would do it herself. But Morgana desperately wished to say a thing or two about the prat. Morgana only smiled at Gwen, grateful that she had her friend with her.

She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

**~* Please Review *~**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Don't own the story, just the plot.**

**A/N: Finally, the part I've been waiting ever since I started _Nothing but a Broken Heart_. Here you have it folks.**

**My story took a lot of turns, but we finally reached the biggest U turn ever, I guess you could say. Enjoy. :)**

Morgana's feigned innocence did not surprise Freya. She was ultimately struck with a lot of anger and so she decided to take matters into her own hands. The next morning she looked for Merlin and found him alone in his and Gaius's shared quarters.

He looked up at her with a smile and Freya wanted to smile back, but she had to do this first.

"Is everything okay?" Merlin asked.

Freya nodded, a bitter smile on her beautiful face. "Merlin, how...how long have you loved Morgana?" Freya asked, keeping her tone light.

Merlin, taken by complete surprise, started at her, shocked.

"Freya-"

"Tell me the truth." She begged, tears forming in her eyes as she saw the truth in his eyes. She looked away and tried not to cry.

Merlin ran to her, but she only pushed him away. When they both stared at each other, Merlin was saddened by how much hate Freya had in her eyes.

"Tell me, Merlin."

Merlin shook his head, unable to form words.

"Just tell me that you love her. Tell me and I'll know for sure. Please just tell me-"

"I love her!" Merlin blurted out.

Freya stared at him heartbroken. She stifled down a sob and ran out of the room.

"Freya!" Merlin ran after her, but bumped into a knight that had been walking by. He ran after her until they both reached the beautiful grass that surrounded the castle. "Please, Freya, listen to me."

"You love her Merlin, what else do I need to hear?" Freya could no longer contain her tears and broke down, right in front of Merlin. Right in front of some of the guards, who looked away politely.

"Listen, I didn't ever think that you would ever suspect. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Too late." Freya said, sarcastically, before her voice broke.

Merlin watched her sadly. "I love you so much, Freya, but I don't want to hurt you any longer." Freya looked at him, waiting for him to continue. "I don't...love you."

If there was any way, Freya's heart broke even more than before.

She turned away from Merlin and left him. Heartbroken and feeling numb, Freya needed to be alone.

Merlin watched her go, wishing that he really hadn't done as he had. All of this would've been evaded, but it was too late now. He just watched her go, his own vision blurring.

Later that evening, Morgana was still not yet aware of what had happened with Merlin and Freya. The boy in question had not be seen by her and Freya had made herself work until she could not longer think. Until she could no longer _feel_.

That was how Morgana found her, doing her chore.

She stood in the kitchen doorway, watching the girl wash dish after dish and couldn't but help feel that there was something wrong.

"Not that I want to clean the dishes, but I'm supposed to be doing this." Morgana joked when she walked into Freya's linear vision.

"Sorry." Freya said, and avoided eye contact.

Morgana, surprised by the change in behavior, looked at her.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

Freya nodded.

"I'm fine."

Morgana crossed her hands. "You're a pretty bad liar, you know that?"

"Will you just leave me alone!" Freya cried and finally looked at Morgana, who watched her shocked because of her red eyes. "You've already won. You got Merlin. Be happy and leave me alone. I won't bother either of you, alright?" And just like she had done all day, Freya broke down crying.

Morgana not sure what else to do, hugged the poor girl, who resisted at first, but ended hugging back. She hugged her and console her, telling her that it was going to be alright.

"When did this happen?" Morgana asked.

"Today. I asked him what he felt about you and he told me everything. He told me that he didn't want to hurt me anymore and that we had to stop being together." Freya broke down into more soulful sobs than before and Morgana just hugged her. "He chose you, all along it was you. Always you."

Morgana kept on consoling the girl.

When Freya was finally able to relax, Morgana sat her down on a chair and began to make some sweet tea.

"Are you feeling better?" Morgana asked, softly.

Freya nodded sullenly.

Morgana focused back on the tea while Freya watched her intently.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Freya asked.

"I was in your place once." Morgana confessed. "My dear friend, Gwen console me and I suppose now I'm doing the same to you."

"Why?" Freya pressed.

"I know how it feels to be hurt by Merlin." Morgana chuckled. "He's an idiot."

"Yes," Freya's eyes misted over, "He is."

"It's amazing isn't it?" Morgana said, which made Freya look up at her after she pushed her tears away.

"What is?" Freya asked.

"That Merlin can be so hurtful. He's so flawed, not making up his mind. Doing whatever he's doing, I'm not really sure what that is. It makes you hate him, at least it makes _me_ hate him." Even though her tone had taken a much darker, angrier tone, her eyes softened. "For someone who's so flawed, he has all these great qualities that won't ever change the fact that from inside out he's good."

Freya felt tears come to her eyes at how true Morgana's words were.

"Stupid, but good." Finished Morgana.

Freya nodded with a laugh. "You're right." She looked down. "I'm sorry for how rude I was yesterday. It was so wrong of me, but at least I got what I deserved." Freya said, tone taking a self-deprecating tone.

"You didn't deserve that." Morgana gave Freya the tea. "No one does or should be treated like that."

Freya looked at her. "He loves you. He just used me." The word felt filthy in her mouth and she felt so hurt. Merlin had _used_ her. It was such a heartbreaking truth.

Morgana shook her head. "I don't think he does. Believe me, I don't think he-"

"He told me! Screamed it in my face!" Freya tears flooded down her eyes and she stared at the person that had taken the man she loved from her, but at the same time the person that treated her with reasonable behavior. "You're a fool, but I'm not. I know what he said."

Morgana felt her heart speed up at those words. Merlin had said that. She couldn't deny now, but that didn't stop her from fiercely saying.

"He deserves to feel what we feel." Morgana proposed.

Freya looked at Morgana in shock.

"He loves you and you want to make him pay? For what? You have him in the palm of your hand." Freya said, shaking her head in disbelief at the older girl's judgement.

"He hurt me. My feelings were never going to be the same after he ran to you, and now I think it's time to make him pay. It was a forgiven mistake when he did this once, but now that he's done it twice, he won't be forgiven." Morgana told her.

Freya watched her in awe, but felt her spirits rise.

"I'll help you." She whispered.

"Good." Morgana said, and smiled. "He's done harm that can't be forgotten unless he gets what he deserves."

"I don't want to hurt him, though." Freya said, thinking it would reach physical measures.

"No, we're not going to hurt his body or his mind." Morgana responded. "We're going to attack his heart." Morgana stated.

"You hate him?" Freya asked.

Morgana got a hurt look on her eyes and shook her head. "No."

Freya watched her new ally in silent admiration.

"Why then? Why do this when you love him, too." Freya asked.

"He won't get out of this so easily and my feelings...they're of no one's matter. I can ignore them if I have to. I don't like hurting people and this won't be any easier than any other time, but I have to do this."

"You don't have to."

"I will."

Freya wrapped her hands around Morgana and hugged her warmly. Morgana tensed up, but otherwise didn't move.

"You look like you need a hug." Freya explained.

Morgana hugged back, a sad smile on her face, before pulling away.

"Thank you." Freya said. "I know you're doing this for me more than anything."

Morgana shook her head lightly.

"You don't have to, it's not right for me to make you do this." Freya said, honestly.

"You're not making me do this. I chose it." Morgana declared.

Freya seeing that Morgana was determined didn't say anything else.

**The End**

**A/N: I know, crappy ending, but I had to end it now so I could begin the new installment of The Heart series. It'll get better, I promise. Somehow.**

**~* Please Review and tell me what you think :) *~**


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